I am hungry after spending the morning shift-clicking through data entry screens. I look at my stapler and it winks at me. I frown and wander into the break room for lunch. Two women sit at the table eating pale sandwiches and pickles. Their conversation halts as soon as I enter, leaving only the sound of pickles crunching, as their jaws crank methodically from side-to-side with bovine indifference.
As you walk through town a badger snipes at you from the post office--trespasser! At the sound of your surprised yelp, mourning doves erupt from a desk drawer in the schoolhouse and a barn spider rappels towards you from the eave. You shudder as you take a seat at the base of the chimney that stands solo in the field. It hopes that you will build a fire so that it can have a nice long smoke.